We all make conscious and unconscious agreements with ourselves and the universe…

This morning I had some news come to me. One of my best friends has decided not to teach yoga at my studio anymore. My heart sank into my stomach. She gave good reason, and those reasons had nothing to do with me, rather she wanted to spend more time with her family and such. It was amazing though that logically I understood that, but my mind immediately went into a doomsday story. Thoughts like, “She doesn’t love you anymore and she’s slowly removing herself from your life” came prancing in. “You must have fucked something up and she wants to bail ship before everything comes crumbling down,” was another encouraging thought. I knew that logically, my friend loves me and I love her, BUT my inner wounded five year old made it mean that doomsday was finally upon us and of course it had to end like this. I didn’t react. I knew there was a lie present, but I needed some reinforcement for my deeper truth. I rummaged through my bookshelf and found just the book I needed, Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements.”

I flipped to the second agreement and read the words, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” I devoured that chapter. It was like my soul was starving and that chapter was the most delicious, stacked, mouth-watering glutinous sandwich you could ever dream up. Within 5 minutes I was back to sanity. I took a few deep breaths. I was out on my lanai at this point and I looked out at the world with wonder and delight. I had avoided doomsday. It was like there was a five alarm emergency happening and the nuke was just about to launch and with seconds to spare, the hero swung in and deactivated the switch. I was the hero and I set myself free. The reality of my friendship was free and I spent my day feeling light and grateful cracking jokes and being present.

I wasn’t always like this. It has taken much practice. I used to spend weeks in a frantic 5 alarm panic. It used to effect my relationships, my work, my recovery. Now that I spend my days with consciousness, I know what it feels like to leave it and I don’t stray too far.