Love is the answer to everything. The more you love on yourself, the more you’re going to show up fully and the more things will shift in your circumstances.
Love and family healing starts with you, you set the example. Even when you think somebody deserves for you to withhold love from them you end up withholding love from yourself.
I believe that healing within the family is such a wonderful opportunity for growth in recovery. You can do this with or without them. My brother came to visit!
Lack of communication with my brother over the past year triggered some pain in me left over from my sensei. The believe was something like this:
I love emotionally unavailable men that don’t love me in return
I love them fiercely even though they don’t reciprocate.
How pathetic
Truly heartbreaking and heavy belief to sit with.
By coaching myself regularly, meditating, and doing yoga, I start to break down these belief systems and my circumstances change. I have found that creating clarity in my mind, not judging how others express love, and also reminding myself that even if they don’t love me, it has nothing to do with me. That’s their inner journey that they’re sorting through.
By doing the inner work before my brother came, I was able to love him fully without judgement and only love. We still did discuss some uncomfortable topics of what we have been going through internally, but because it was greeted with love, it was a much smoother conversation.
Creating your own love is like having a water fountain inside. You can constantly drink from that well that exists within you. It’s true. At first, Self-Care might feel like you’re on autopilot, going through the motions. That’s okay. Stick with it, even if it feels mechanical. Let go of judgment as to whether you’re doing it “right” (there’s no “wrong” self care by the way). Keep going, every day, and it will feel more and more natural. It will become a part of your new identity.
There was a time when I hid my past addictions for fear of being judged. But then I realized it was ME judging myself. I saw how I’m not who I was in the past and I opened up and shared my story with the hopes of helping others like me.
XOXO
Erin
